Lack of Self-Awareness is keeping you stuck.
Have you ever arrived at work or drove some place and can’t clearly remember the trip? Have you found yourself in front of the TV consuming food and a tasty beverage and wondered how you got there?
This is not the Twilight Zone, this is habit. Sometimes we call it muscle memory when you can ride a bike, but don’t really remember the learning process.
In the depths of my porn addiction, I started my day off strong and by the end of it was back consuming porn. I’d intended to avoid it that day, I’d meant to quit using, but I apparently went back to it. I couldn’t tell you exactly why.
For people coming out of rehab, they are told not to return to an unhealthy environment if they want to stay clean. For many this means changing or removing anything tempting them to use.
“I only smoke when I am drinking.”
“I only drink on days ending in Y.”
“I only watch porn on business trips.”
That sort of thing. For an addict to start getting a handle on their addiction it helps to become aware of these triggers.
As someone with a porn problem, I had to become more aware of the environment I was living in.
Since I am very sensitive to the visual world, I have to be careful about what I watch and places I go that might have a lot of visual opportunity. I avoid the beach, not too difficult where I live but still. I also have to be aware of the movies and TV shows I watch.
When your allowing your environment to control you, your wife or girlfriend might give none too subtle signals that you have triggered. Those are the easy ones.
Some triggers are more devious. When you start to look at those things, you will be on a path to greater healing. What do those look like?
Your job or lack of one.
It’s Time to Go IN
As men, we are not encouraged to look inward. But you will have to. Take the time to get acquainted. This is the house you live in. Figure out what is leading you to the porn. If you know the trap is there, it can’t ambush you.