Reality Of Porn

Reality of Porn

The statistics say most men and a lot of women view porn. Not all get addicted or struggle to find reality despite watching it. But, then the exposure has changed quite a few of us. Men in every generation feel caught by the images they have viewed.

This may not be the struggle of everyone, but it is a problem for all because it is changing our view of sex and romance.

Instant gratification doesn’t happen in real relationships.

There is a method or approach that leads to satisfaction.

The use of porn is skewing body image and expectations during what should be a safe experience; leading to sex feeling unsafe and disappointing. Both persons should have an attitude of enthusiasm toward what is going on, or you shouldn’t do it. Otherwise, it is a “forced” encounter than may do more harm than good. For the most part it is the responsibility of men to ensure their partner feels protected and cherished.

We are not animals taking what we want.

We are rational beings “evolved” to control our urges and impulses. If you cannot, you are no better than a two-year old throwing a tantrum to get a cookie. Lack of sex is not life limiting no matter what you might have read. There are people who go years and years without and seem to be just fine.

Porn tells you something different. It tells you relationship begins and ends with sex. Real connection and enjoyment of the other person is irrelevant. Gratifying your desire is what sex is about in porn. The reality is we receive satisfaction only when we are giving to someone else. Real satisfaction means we don’t need to experience it again and again with more intensity. If eating one cookie satisfies you, do you need to eat the whole package? Will it make you more satisfied or just sick?

There is a quote by a famous model which goes something like “I wish I looked like my photo self”, meaning she knew her photos were not reality. The problem is, she is one of the only people who knows the reality. For the rest of us, her photos are her. I can show you photo-shopped images of people and it won’t change your belief about how people look. There is the idealized version of women we have seen so many times that real women can’t compete.

They can’t compete until we need someone in this life to stand by us through good times and bad, then real women are what we want.

If you are even a causal porn user, you are supporting an industry which is destroying reality, killing love, and twisting relationship.

Every video and every image is lying to you.

They are actors trying to get “noticed”. They get paid to get you off, like a prostitute with a middleman. Even the “free” sites pay the people who post their videos through advertising money. Or the person is getting “paid” in the ego stroking of likes or views.

Relationships last when two people become vulnerable to one another. When we are unsure if one person is safe enough to expose our self to: the relationship breaks down. We don’t trust and then we keep something hidden. This keeps the bonds from being strong between us. Now outside influences can break the relationship down even more.

Reality Is Your Friend

Seeing porn for what it really is, a sad substitute for real relationship, helped me. I longed for a real person in my life to share my dreams, hopes, and heartbreaks with. Finding THE ONE wasn’t easy and didn’t solve all my problems, but I would not trade the real, sometimes painful, relationship I share with her.